We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
