Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
