All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
