this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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