if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize