I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
