I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
