Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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