Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
