we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
