found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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