you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
