and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
