Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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