he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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