me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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