at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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