Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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