i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
