just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
