I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
