I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
