Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
