just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
