do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
