She announced her abortion via fbk
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize