all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
