She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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