I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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