What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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