I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
