Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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