Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
