belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
