paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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