Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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