He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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