VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
