What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
