Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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