I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
