he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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