I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
