Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
