I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
