the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
