I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
