'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm both gender and math confused
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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