Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
