Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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