her vagine was all disorganized.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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