I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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