He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
