I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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