Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
