Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am one with the molecules
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
