I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
