are you still at the devil's house?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize