bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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