I just made out with a guy for $7.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
