Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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