I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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