are you still at the devil's house?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
