take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
