Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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