That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
