Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
