This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
