Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
