Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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