1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize